Thoughts After A Second Viewing Of G.I. Joe

(from August 13, 2009)

1. I have never seen a character like The Baroness in the sense that she can be so cosmically gorgeous with the dark hair and glasses, and so decidedly unattractive with the blond hair and no specs. It's almost like seeing two different people play the same role. Sienna Miller was a good choice for the role, but I would somehow be a little happier with the world if she was naturally a brunette and needed corrective lenses.

Compare this:



...with this:



...and it's no contest.

2. The row of black kids behind me really enjoyed every Marlon Wayans scene in the movie. And I mean really enjoyed. The phenomenon of Tyler Perry's House Of Payne suddenly makes more sense.

3. What exactly is Scarlett's role on the team? They make a point of mentioning her super levels of genius...which apparently exist only to help her shoot bad guys in the eye, make smart-aleck remarks, and come up with two Celtic words in a pinch. Otherwise, she sure does wear an awfully tight, extremely form-fitting battle suit.



She graduated from college at age 12...so she could wear this to work. Yay America.

4. With Heath Ledger's amazing performance as The Joker last summer, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt nailing the role of Cobra Commander this year, I'd say we should keep an eye out for anyone else from 10 Things I Hate About You turning up as a super villain next summer. I just hope we don't have to see Julia Stiles play Emma Frost or something ridiculous like that. Maybe we'll get a Gabrielle Union sighting again though...nothing wrong with that.

5. It was still a really fun movie the second time, although I guess I might have Channing Tatum at least attempt to have an emotion of some kind next time around. He did a great job as a soldier, but his dramatic lines came out like they would in a high school drama club's performance of The Music Man. It enhances the unitentional comedy of the film for sure though...so that's a bonus.

If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor...go see it. You won't hate it, and you might even have a great time.